Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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