What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
