Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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