Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
