I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
