I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
