im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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