The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
