I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
