My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
