The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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