No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
