On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
