that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
