my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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