do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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