North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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