so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
