I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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