Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
