I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
