I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
