A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
North Korea, Best Korea!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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