bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
