i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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