tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize