yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
