You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you had me at cake vodka
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
