My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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