There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
