I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
