Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
