Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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