The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
