I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
