Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
