the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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