Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
