I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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