i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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