I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
