so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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