I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
