New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
