Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
