Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
