You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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