I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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