Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
