I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
