and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my sisters under your porch take her home
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
