she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
